This week we talked about communication with your significant other. In marriage it’s so important to have good communication. I believe that if a couple has good communication they can get through problems that others might struggle to get through. Communication starts early in a relationship so it’s important to start good habits while you are dating. Spending time with each other helps you to figure out how to handle situations when feelings are hurt, there are problems to work through, or just bad days. Good communication comes with love and respect for your spouse. As both people work with the others best intentions in mind moving forward will become easier. In my own experience when something happens that might hurt my feelings my first reaction is to take some time. I might say that I am alright but then after some time to think I am able to go and communicate with my fiancé what happened. As more time has passed I have been trying to not just say I am okay or that it’s fine. I’ve tried to communicate sooner and talk about why something might have caused my to have hurt feelings or something to just not sit right. Something we focused a lot on are called the 5 secrets to effective communication.
- Find the truth in what someone is saying.
- Show empathy of feelings.
- Ask questions and check understanding.
- Use “I feel statements”.
- Complement something you admire about the person. We talked in class about how using these 5 steps can help to eliminate tension and help not to escalate a conversation or argument. Our professor shared a story with us from a client he helped before with a woman who had been recently divorced and her communication with her ex husband were just horrible. She started using these 5 tips as she talked with him about their child and spending time with him and in a couple of weeks their whole relationship had changed and their communication was immensely better. She was able to find some of the truths behind what he was saying and they were able to work out their difference to help their son have a better relationship with them both. We also talked about how important our tone is, our actions are, and how important the actual words we use are as we are communicating with others. It has been found that in what we say 14% is based on what words we say 35% is on the tone we use and 51% is on our nonverbal actions. This shows how important it is to really show love and appreciation to your spouse and not just say empty words. I know communication wont be perfect but as you and your spouse work on it together it will be a blessing in your life.
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