Dads not of the family

 This week could be considered kind of a heavy week. Especially from what I have titled this blog but it goes deeper than that. In class we talked about homosexuals and the different backgrounds they come from. We talked about how being gay or lesbian isn't a biological thing or a specific choice to have certain feelings. We did however talk about people the different ways kids are raised. Their nature versus nurture and how they experienced growing up. Our professor was a counselor for many years and he gave us a lot of examples of homosexual men who would come into his office and they would talk. After going through their childhood he found that with every case these men grew up with very distant father and very involved mothers. This got me thinking about the importance of fathers in the home and how that changes the lives of their kids. We also know that the effects of a single mother home are great on children as they grow up. They have a much higher chance of abusing drugs and alcohol, struggling with education, and struggle in building safe and constructive relationships themselves. When a father is in the home the outcomes of all of these things are much lower. Now just because a father is in the home doesn't mean it is all of the sudden an amazing environment. There are too many fathers who are in their families but not of their families. What I mean by this is that there are fathers who come home from the day and talk with his wife, play with the kids, eat dinner as a family, and help with cleaning and bedtime at night. Then there are the fathers who come home from a long day of work and eat themselves, play video games or watch "their" show for hours and stay up way later than their wives and kids do. Now not all families are like this but in this example I am showing one dad who is in and of his family and one who is in the family but not of the family. It is so important for children to have time with their dads. They need to have that connection and bond from him. It is also so important for kids to see their dads treat their moms with love and respect and to see him help her around the house. A family is a team and a successful family no matter what it looks like needs to have a loving and caring dad who is involved in the family. One thing my parents did very well was one on one time with our dad and our mom. Some of my best childhood memories are my daddy daughter dates we went on. My dad would take me on a ride in his car around the neighborhood and we loved it. It was super simple and barely costed any gas money but the memories it left with me and knowing I had a dad who loved me was crucial to me growing up. It is crucial for any child growing up. No family is ever going to be perfect but a family with dedicated, supportive, and loving parents who work together as one have a much higher chance of ever getting there.